100 Disney Things [012]: The conflict between self and family in Encanto and Turning Red

[chacusha]

100 Disney Things [012]

Oh hey, it's a surprise 100 Disney Things essay. I did make it a goal to do more of these this year! Forgive the disorganization but, well, these essays are meant to be pretty informal.


The conflict between self and family in Encanto and Turning Red

While I overall liked both Encanto and Turning Red, the one thing I thought kind of odd was the message, especially in Encanto, where the lesson the main character has to learn is essentially to be selfish -- to be willing to put her needs and desires before her family's and this fixes things. The moral in Turning Red is a bit less weird since the main character is so far on the "people-pleasing" end to the point where she lies about her personality/tastes, and the message of the movie is more in trying to "find who you are" rather than to withdraw from communal obligations and expectations in favor of self-care, the way it is with Luisa, Isabela, and Mirabel in Encanto. But it is a bit odd that both these movies feature some sort of self/family tension where the resolution is to choose self.

This isn't a bad message -- it's important to stick up for oneself and know when your family is having a bad effect on your health, and push back on that (or probably more realistically: just leave/minimize contact). But it isn't really a message I relate to? In fact, I'm not really sure I personally know many other people who would relate to this either -- only a couple of friends who basically have to limit contact with their parents because the relationship is too stressful.

Most of the people I know don't really see a tension between doing what you want and doing what your parents expect of you -- my interests and my family's interests don't really seem to clearly conflict or compete, because part of my happiness is tied up in my family's happiness and vice versa. We all benefit from making sure each other is happy, and do things like talk issues out in order to resolve them. And of the people who do feel that tension, most of them are still on good terms with their family because they have no compunction about choosing to prioritize themselves over what their parents want and still manage to maintain friendly relations with their parents. The vibe is like, "Yes, mom, I know you want me to be a doctor and you want grandkids. But I'm not going to. :)" But maybe that is normal?

It strikes me as a very American message/plot, a sort of dedication to individualism over any form of communalism, even one as "easy mode" as the atomic family.

I'm also reminded of the way (mostly white) Americans talk about Thanksgiving being a fraught event because of how people do not get along with their family, especially their extended family. But my experiences with Thanksgiving have universally been chill and pleasant. I know there are people who do not have this experience at all, but yeah, for me and the friends who I have gone to Thanksgiving with, it's just been a really nice gathering where everyone gets along.

Obviously my experiences aren't universal and there's no reason why this movie has to be relatable to me, especially since the depiction of families in Disney/Pixar films is on the whole almost universally positive and loving. For people who don't have that kind of relationship with their family, the options in the animated realm are very sparse. I suppose these two movies stand out because they have extremely fraught family relationships while not rendering the family matriarch an outright villain. For example, the family dysfunction in these two movies is a bit more intense than in Brave -- although Brave is another example of the genre -- but the (grand)mother in these movies is less of a straightforward villain than in things like Tangled while still being the main antagonist. (It really is interesting just how many Disney/Pixar movies have had "no villain" plots since Lasseter was removed as the chief creative officer... Neither of these two movies have villains.)

The parallels between Turning Red and A Goofy Movie are also pretty clear, although I think A Goofy Movie is pretty evenly split in whose perspective in the parent/child duo the movie takes -- apparently it's common for the same person to relate to Max when they're young and to Goofy when they're an adult.

Little Mermaid is also an interesting example of an extremely fraught family relationship that crucially gets mended in the ending (similar to all of the ones listed above), but it's a bit of an odd example because there's also another villain and a whole adventure plot going on. While I do think the Ariel/Triton relationship is the emotional throughline of the film (as mentioned here) -- even the villain/adventure plotline comes to a head with Triton making the ultimate sacrifice for Ariel -- the relationship itself isn't the main form of the film's conflict. Unlike the examples given above, the parent isn't the main antagonist where the whole challenge of the film is parent and child learning how to coexist.

In any case, I think the other examples I've given (Brave, A Goofy Movie, and The Little Mermaid) are a bit different from Encanto and Turning Red because the message of the film isn't to be more selfish but rather is more like parent and child meeting in the middle and forming a new understanding of each other after a period of estrangement, helped along by how the child character in these films is already quite headstrong/sure of what they want and if they need to learn a lesson, it's to see things from their parent's point of view. Encanto and Turning Red (especially Encanto) take that a bit farther and have a message more like, sometimes you need to put yourself first before your family, a kind of "self-care is important" sort of message.

IDK, I guess I've kind of noticed a trend on the internet in particular to have a kind of "cut off your parents if you need to for the sake of your health" sort of attitude toward family -- I've seen this in Tumblr's form of informal mental health advice; I've also seen this a lot in MBTI forums where members (dominated by INTPs and INTJs) complain about their narcissistic ESFJ(?) parents; I've especially noticed this in LGBTQ-heavy spaces, although that certainly makes sense since I think LGBTQ issues tend to be ones where parent disapproval tends to get extreme to the point of disownment, even. But it of course also happens in spaces with a lot of neurodivergence (autism, depression, ADHD, bipolar, OCD, BPD, etc. -- and that group seems to have a lot of overlap with the LGBTQ group at least on the internet), where the issues seem to range from just not getting along with parents due to conflicting personalities/ways of thinking to feeling just not at all supported by parents. I'm guessing the popularity of these types of family relationships and mental health advice is influencing movies like Encanto and Turning Red.

Anyway, I don't really have a point here. I guess I just wanted to point out the interesting message found in these two movies that I think take the family in a more negative direction than found in other Disney movies (outside of movies that feature a clearly villainous step/adoptive mother). They both feature a kind of "soft abusive" family structure where the family dynamics are clearly damaging to the main character, and the movie seems to basically push the family as bad as it can go while still keeping the family members redeemable / allowing the possibility of reconciliation and understanding. The beginning of the solution being that the main character has to be more selfish is a bit odd and differs from other movies, where the child character is usually already quite determined to do the thing they really want to do. I don't personally find the family dynamics or the solution of these two films very relatable although I wonder if it is generally a relatable plotline, especially recently? I don't know.

(Looking things up, apparently the director of Turning Red directed the "Bao" short too. Well, I think I get a pretty clear picture of her relationship to her mother then?! 😂)

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