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100 Disney Things [012]: The conflict between self and family in Encanto and Turning Red
100 Disney Things [012]
Oh hey, it's a surprise 100 Disney Things essay. I did make it a goal to do more of these this year! Forgive the disorganization but, well, these essays are meant to be pretty informal.
The conflict between self and family in Encanto and Turning Red
While I overall liked both Encanto and Turning Red, the one thing I thought kind of odd was the message, especially in Encanto, where the lesson the main character has to learn is essentially to be selfish -- to be willing to put her needs and desires before her family's and this fixes things. The moral in Turning Red is a bit less weird since the main character is so far on the "people-pleasing" end to the point where she lies about her personality/tastes, and the message of the movie is more in trying to "find who you are" rather than to withdraw from communal obligations and expectations in favor of self-care, the way it is with Luisa, Isabela, and Mirabel in Encanto. But it is a bit odd that both these movies feature some sort of self/family tension where the resolution is to choose self.
This isn't a bad message -- it's important to stick up for oneself and know when your family is having a bad effect on your health, and push back on that (or probably more realistically: just leave/minimize contact). But it isn't really a message I relate to? In fact, I'm not really sure I personally know many other people who would relate to this either -- only a couple of friends who basically have to limit contact with their parents because the relationship is too stressful.
Most of the people I know don't really see a tension between doing what you want and doing what your parents expect of you -- my interests and my family's interests don't really seem to clearly conflict or compete, because part of my happiness is tied up in my family's happiness and vice versa. We all benefit from making sure each other is happy, and do things like talk issues out in order to resolve them. And of the people who do feel that tension, most of them are still on good terms with their family because they have no compunction about choosing to prioritize themselves over what their parents want and still manage to maintain friendly relations with their parents. The vibe is like, "Yes, mom, I know you want me to be a doctor and you want grandkids. But I'm not going to. :)" But maybe that is normal?
It strikes me as a very American message/plot, a sort of dedication to individualism over any form of communalism, even one as "easy mode" as the atomic family.
I'm also reminded of the way (mostly white) Americans talk about Thanksgiving being a fraught event because of how people do not get along with their family, especially their extended family. But my experiences with Thanksgiving have universally been chill and pleasant. I know there are people who do not have this experience at all, but yeah, for me and the friends who I have gone to Thanksgiving with, it's just been a really nice gathering where everyone gets along.
Obviously my experiences aren't universal and there's no reason why this movie has to be relatable to me, especially since the depiction of families in Disney/Pixar films is on the whole almost universally positive and loving. For people who don't have that kind of relationship with their family, the options in the animated realm are very sparse. I suppose these two movies stand out because they have extremely fraught family relationships while not rendering the family matriarch an outright villain. For example, the family dysfunction in these two movies is a bit more intense than in Brave -- although Brave is another example of the genre -- but the (grand)mother in these movies is less of a straightforward villain than in things like Tangled while still being the main antagonist. (It really is interesting just how many Disney/Pixar movies have had "no villain" plots since Lasseter was removed as the chief creative officer... Neither of these two movies have villains.)
The parallels between Turning Red and A Goofy Movie are also pretty clear, although I think A Goofy Movie is pretty evenly split in whose perspective in the parent/child duo the movie takes -- apparently it's common for the same person to relate to Max when they're young and to Goofy when they're an adult.
Little Mermaid is also an interesting example of an extremely fraught family relationship that crucially gets mended in the ending (similar to all of the ones listed above), but it's a bit of an odd example because there's also another villain and a whole adventure plot going on. While I do think the Ariel/Triton relationship is the emotional throughline of the film (as mentioned here) -- even the villain/adventure plotline comes to a head with Triton making the ultimate sacrifice for Ariel -- the relationship itself isn't the main form of the film's conflict. Unlike the examples given above, the parent isn't the main antagonist where the whole challenge of the film is parent and child learning how to coexist.
In any case, I think the other examples I've given (Brave, A Goofy Movie, and The Little Mermaid) are a bit different from Encanto and Turning Red because the message of the film isn't to be more selfish but rather is more like parent and child meeting in the middle and forming a new understanding of each other after a period of estrangement, helped along by how the child character in these films is already quite headstrong/sure of what they want and if they need to learn a lesson, it's to see things from their parent's point of view. Encanto and Turning Red (especially Encanto) take that a bit farther and have a message more like, sometimes you need to put yourself first before your family, a kind of "self-care is important" sort of message.
IDK, I guess I've kind of noticed a trend on the internet in particular to have a kind of "cut off your parents if you need to for the sake of your health" sort of attitude toward family -- I've seen this in Tumblr's form of informal mental health advice; I've also seen this a lot in MBTI forums where members (dominated by INTPs and INTJs) complain about their narcissistic ESFJ(?) parents; I've especially noticed this in LGBTQ-heavy spaces, although that certainly makes sense since I think LGBTQ issues tend to be ones where parent disapproval tends to get extreme to the point of disownment, even. But it of course also happens in spaces with a lot of neurodivergence (autism, depression, ADHD, bipolar, OCD, BPD, etc. -- and that group seems to have a lot of overlap with the LGBTQ group at least on the internet), where the issues seem to range from just not getting along with parents due to conflicting personalities/ways of thinking to feeling just not at all supported by parents. I'm guessing the popularity of these types of family relationships and mental health advice is influencing movies like Encanto and Turning Red.
Anyway, I don't really have a point here. I guess I just wanted to point out the interesting message found in these two movies that I think take the family in a more negative direction than found in other Disney movies (outside of movies that feature a clearly villainous step/adoptive mother). They both feature a kind of "soft abusive" family structure where the family dynamics are clearly damaging to the main character, and the movie seems to basically push the family as bad as it can go while still keeping the family members redeemable / allowing the possibility of reconciliation and understanding. The beginning of the solution being that the main character has to be more selfish is a bit odd and differs from other movies, where the child character is usually already quite determined to do the thing they really want to do. I don't personally find the family dynamics or the solution of these two films very relatable although I wonder if it is generally a relatable plotline, especially recently? I don't know.
(Looking things up, apparently the director of Turning Red directed the "Bao" short too. Well, I think I get a pretty clear picture of her relationship to her mother then?! 😂)
You can suggest topics for future posts for this meme over here.
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And...I have no idea whether or not this large ramble even makes a lick of sense, so I'll just stop here. XD Excellent essay though! ♥
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I haven't seen Turning Red, but I loved Encanto up until the end where it... left me conflicted. Amusingly, it appears to be for almost opposite from why you couldn't connect to it: how quickly their relationship was mended frustrated me. I understand why they come together as one big happy family, especially since it's a Disney movie, but it feels unrealistic that they would suddenly embrace Bruno overnight. Mirabel was increasingly taking up his scapegoat role, but was still obviously loved, even if often not included. In her case, it makes sense that it could be mended. Everything we know about how they view Bruno, on the other hand... We always seem Mirabel's direct parents supporting her in particular, but in Bruno's case, it would've been his mother who was the one endorsed this treatment. I wouldn't necessarily consider a situation where someone ends up living in the walls to be all that soft.
That ending likely bothered me because I am the one with that scapegoat role. I was all but officially banished after the situation became so severe I was being blamed for the death of my father-- apparently, I just needed to pray more, and my lack of faith killed him instead of the cancer. I have gotten a few stray invitations to weddings from cousins and such... that I quickly throw in the recycling bin. I will say most on my mother's side will be supportive regardless of differences, they helped us out a lot in that situation, but I grew up almost isolated from them and only ever saw my father's side. I have never seen anyone on my father's side actually be supportive, and I can say with certainty that there's no mending there. They'd likely accept me back for a time, sure, but only if they can find a reason to look down on me/blame me for something in order to make themselves feel better.
I didn't mean to make that so personal-- I know there's a movement on social media that seems to apply no contact concepts to less severe ideas, but there are cases where it goes beyond simply not getting along with them on a personal level.
I also feel like a lot of American families lack the same type of community you're describing in general. It might be a by-product of the individualistic-centered culture, but there's more of a sense of "everyone for themselves" from the start sometimes.
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Like, the dynamic between Bruno and his family was clearly toxic, and Alma could have shut it down but instead was part of it. But with the living in the walls of the house thing, for example, that plotpoint is a bit odd because part of that situation is that no one *knew* he was there (apparently? not even the girl with good hearing??). Everyone thought that he had left to pursue his happiness. The vibe I got from that was that (even though his family mistreated him) it was more Bruno's idea to retreat from them publicly while staying close so that he could watch over them and keep them safe (because Bruno does care for his family and does think his prophesying skills just make them unhappy) and none of the family would have agreed that was right or necessary if they had known he was doing that.
And then the resolution to Bruno's plotline seems to be to just, like, communicate? For example, it seems like a lot of the family thought that Bruno tends to tell them bad prophecies out of malice. This is very odd as it seems to indicate that the family can't seem to separate "Bruno's prophecies" (which he has zero control over) from "Bruno's behavior/what he is responsible for bringing about." I think there's two ways to interpret this: (1) the family is just... really dumb/ignorant about how Bruno's prophecies work and/or Bruno has difficulty communicating his intentions so a lot of his behavior of revealing inconvenient prophecies seems impish or mischievous or spiteful and is interpreted by his siblings and nephew/nieces that way, or (2) the family DOES know better but they have a toxic dynamic where Bruno is an easy target for pinning all their frustrations on and so they blame him without considering how hurtful that is. A lot of the interactions with Alma does seem more like (2), where she treats the power as harmful, but also *Bruno* as harmful by extension and so he needs to be shunted off to the side wherever possible, without ever seeming to acknowledge that, if Bruno's powers are a curse, that doesn't mean *Bruno* is a curse. But the film kind of treats the problem as mainly (1), where a lot of characters just assume that Bruno doesn't care about them when actually he does, and finding this out helps repair the relationship. I don't know, I can see how the relationship in the movie is less dark than a typical scapegoat type relationship, but also that there are definitely scapegoat elements to the family dynamics there. Depending on how you interpret why the family members seemed to blame Bruno for his prophecies and how severely/frequently they did that, the relationship could vary quite a bit in how mendable it seems, maybe? But yeah, the relationship between Alma and Bruno is definitely Not Good.
In any case, yeah, there are definitely family dynamics where no contact is by far the best option, and Disney was definitely tapping into some of that with the relationships in Encanto. But it either held back in terms of how terrible families can get or it held back in terms of being realistic about how damaging these kinds of family dynamics can be. Ultimately, at the end of the day, the family in Encanto *is* quite communal and cares about each other. But that's not really a guarantee in the kind of dysfunctional families that Encanto was trying to depict, maybe?
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Ah, I got the impression she did know Bruno was there! During the "We Don't Talk about Bruno" song she mentions always hearing him, is far more sympathetic towards him than the others, and then later in the same song says "I can hear him now"... which serves as a double meaning for both the guy she's in love with arriving and Bruno (who Mirabel is still asking about at the same time). That in itself is awkward though, as I was left with more questions than answers about it.. Does she talk with him regularly? Or at all? Or does she pretend he's not there for the sake of family unity? I'm guessing these questions were never answered since there's only so much time in the movie and, aside from Antonio who mainly serves as a contrast to Mirabel in terms of acceptance before/after being granted power, the cousins were given less prominence. Antonio does quickly show up after he learns everything from the rats, maybe she did something similar as a child?
All of which is a bit away from the main topic, but I got the exact same impression as you in regards to the rest of the family. That is, they assumed he left, while he remained in order to help them, but it's still a bit... uncomfortable since the core behind all of that was that he left to protect Mirabel. Specifically, he was afraid how they would treat her if they found out what he saw. In the end, his motivation feels like a mix of love, but also fear and dread of them at the same time? The others all have very mendable situations in contrast. They're also totally cool with one of them describing him as as a generic villain who "feasts on your screams," lol.
Ahh yes, to me, it often seems to be on the tripwire of 1 and 2. The ending definitely leans towards 2, but some of the more absurd situations in the song about him feel more like 1. As an aside, I find the communication issue interesting since I feel like it was left open ended if his eccentricities are caused by him living in relative isolation for many years or were present to some degree *before* all of that. If the latter, it's a pretty good analogy for the neurodivergent communities you described. It's... not really surprising to me, since autism runs on my mother's side strongly, but I wasn't told by a medical professional until later in life that I also most likely have it, and that it was also probably why my father's side picked me to blame things on. While many of the characters in this movie feel pretty human to me, I think that made me a bit more passionate about Bruno as I related to him a bit more and felt conflicted over the conclusion, lol.
The increased awareness of those communities is interesting, but I feel like it may also be blending with... as they become more well known, those with less extreme circumstances also join them? I don't know how else to put it, but it would cause many of the situations here to fit well.
That said, I can't think of another recent movie that I enjoyed - or thought about - quite as much as Encanto, especially as far as Disney is concerned. Movies tend to be rather self-contained, and some of the time restraints in that medium seem to be a bit of the issue here.
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Ah, fascinating. That makes sense! But yeah, the lack of the movie addressing the plotpoint of how hearing girl handled knowing Bruno was in the walls the whole time is part of why I just assumed she heard noises but didn't know who they belonged to (thought it was a ghost or squatter or something but not Bruno). But yeah, it seems like they did intend that plotpoint, just didn't have time to address it fully.
Specifically, he was afraid how they would treat her if they found out what he saw. In the end, his motivation feels like a mix of love, but also fear and dread of them at the same time?
Yeah, I think you are right about that. He was also afraid of the family treating Mirabel badly if they thought she was going to bring about the end of the family powers, the same way they did him and his "curse." There is fear of bad treatment of an innocent person there too.
or were present to some degree *before* all of that. If the latter, it's a pretty good analogy for the neurodivergent communities you described.
Yeah, I agree, and I definitely interpreted it this second way, that Bruno was mentally different/strange even before he holed up in the walls. Bruno seems to me to have an unusual/awkward style of communication and I do think that fed into the dynamic of the family villainizing him, because he was just different and wasn't able to express his intentions very well and the family didn't make the effort to meet him where he was at.
And yeah, I generally agree with your point that it's good that there is more awareness of toxic family dynamics but also that seems to involve people in less extreme circumstances co-opting some of the language and muddying public understanding of these dynamics. It kind of reminds me a friend who has celiac and her frustrations with people who merely have voluntary "gluten-free" diets both creating a market for gluten-free alternative foods (which is good) but also muddying the waters because they aren't actually sensitive to gluten, therefore creating a misleading impression that people who are on "gluten-free diets" can actually handle eating small amounts of gluten, but are merely trying to cut down (which is bad for people like her that have bad reactions to even a tiny amount of gluten). It's kind of similar with bad families -- while it's good that people are aware of toxic family dynamics, the concept creep that seems to be happening with the terms is not helpful for understanding the most severe family relationships.
I'm glad you enjoyed Encanto so much and had so many thoughts on it!